How I dealt with ‘years of myself’ in the Gobi desert
I am just back from a week in the Mongolian steppes and Gobi
desert. With 12 countrymen, twelve motorbikes, and a Kazakh woman. Being a
chronic solo traveller, this expedition had presented huge risks with thirteen
people whom I knew almost none, had no idea on their experience of travel or
life for that matter. I been immersed into creating a completely new business
past eight months in a new continent with a new team, probably eating up
every ounce of risk taking, creativity, persistence, ambition and perseverance
that existed in my veins. I been flooded with an adrenaline rush since November
last year, getting up to a new day every day where every second every move
every player had to be contemplated and executed from scratch. So how did this
physical strenuous activity in mongolia that involved people I didn’t know and
extreme conditions fit to that state of mind?
I don’t know the answer to why but I knew it had to be. I know
that the more difficult the journey was, more different of a person I ended up.
Last week was a tough one. It was physically tough, yes very much so. 250
kilometers per day on average with no roads, but always on steppes, and
mountain roads covered by rocks, dust, sand, canyons, no roads. We ended up
with four men down—all with ankle injuries; got lost in the desert, in the
steppes and in the mountains several times.
Result is fascinating. I pushed myself to belong to a group
where my work or life experience didn’t matter and was not relevant. Past week,
probably a hundred times, my training and primal instincts have kicked in.
Years of doing things in very dangerous parts of the world where I was solely
responsible for everyone’s lives, everyone’s wellbeing, comfort and success.
Years of training on understanding human needs and behaviours and having
alternative plans for every situation, finding solutions or enabling others who
have the capacity to find those solutions. That is exactly the reason why I
travelled alone for pleasure in the past. Hundreds of thousands of kilometres of
roads that existed in Africa, Asia, Americas I walked, drove, biked I did it to
run away from that responsibility, the responsibility to take care of others
and take a deep breath to focus on myself and my observance of the world alone.
Last week, every single time my instincts kicked in--- I had to
deal with years of myself. I had to push myself to enjoy or live with a
situation that required everything I was trained for—group survival, morale,
perseverance, problem solving, support and care for others but this time do it
for fun. How I fared, that only my mates can tell.
All I know is that life continues to amaze me still. And it is
beautiful.
